You had two, 10, 20 years of marital bliss, but then the marriage began to crumble. Maybe the cracks had been growing for years. No matter the length of time, you and your spouse are considering a divorce.

You may point to your partner’s general laziness or sloppiness as what led you to divorce, but likely, that was just the final straw, and the motive you chose to give you strength.

Ignoring your partner’s needs, negative communication, and a general lack of communication are three common behaviors that ignite feelings of wanting to separate or divorce. Below is more information on each behavior and how you can fix them to better your marriage.

Ignoring the needs of your partner

Everybody expresses themselves differently. Active listening, which means to engage with your mind and your body, is vital to building a strong relationship. As is displaying affection toward your partner and gaining emotional intelligence. Study your partner and make it a point to remember what they like and dislike. Prove that you are paying attention and that you care.

Negative communication

When it comes to news on TV, negative news spreads better than positive. This has seeped into our communication. People tend to hard on the negative, such as, “The traffic was terrible,” or “This weather is awful,” or “This food is too dry.”

If you consistently communicate with someone, especially your partner, your communication styles will mold each other. If you continuously spout negative thoughts, that negativity will become a common thread in your life and relationship. As the saying goes, “You get out what you put in.” Put in positivity and see how it affects your relationship.

Overall lack of communication

The leading downfall of many relationships, poor communication, leads to a myriad of other issues, like resentment and dissatisfaction. Whether you have something great you want to express or an issue that you and your partner are dealing with, you won’t find resolution and peace unless its communicated. Bottling up emotions doesn’t do any good and only leads you and your partner toward feelings of confusion, anger and loneliness and eventual divorce.

Re-learning effective communication with your partner can be a struggle, but it’s a struggle worth facing if you wish to save your current relationship or thrive in your next.